I was so enthusiastic to share my blog on another platform of social media. I created my Facebook page and Instagram in attempts to reach other people, discovering their new single. It’s barely been a month with my new all-encompassing social platform, and I’m happy that I took the leap because it has increased my blog exposure. While there are many benefits with social media, you also have to expect risks and eccentricities that come along with opening yourself up at that level.
I’ve been on Facebook for many years and to me, its purpose has somewhat changed. I was used to accepting Facebook friendships by confirmation. That was the extent of acknowledgement until you commented on a post that provoked you. I was not familiar with this new expected two-way communication on Facebook messenger. My “new friends” actually want to communicate or video chat. I did not know that was even possible considering my telephone number is not public. Then there are those people who are persistent with trying to meet you. They don’t understand that this is just your platform in which you express your creativity.
There was an individual who would leave several messages for me daily. He included his email and telephone number insisting that I contact him. He had apparently read my blog and noticed some of the places that I had visited from my Instagram and Facebook accounts. Therefore, he expressed commonalities that he assumed we shared. He continuously complimented me until he did not. Perhaps because I would not respond to his advances. He then left a very mean message on my Facebook page basically calling me fat and comments about me having self-esteem issues. I, of course, deleted him as a “friend” and his comments were also deleted.
The next day, I noticed that he had posted a comment on my Instagram account. I had posted this lovely picture of the sky, before dark, illuminating warmth with zig zags of orange, red and yellow running through it. I noted that the sky was simply beautiful. He wrote something to the effect of how he would “rather be looking into my beautiful eyes.” This is after he tried to humiliate me on my new Facebook page. I did what was necessary to prevent him from viewing any future Instagram posts.
The day after, I realized that he had written a very long comment on my blog. I did not approve the comment, and blocked him from future comments. It was comforting to know that social media had measures in place to prevent harassments from becoming permanently public.
I disclosed this because this is someone who thought he could “help” me and was very persistent with getting to know me. Although I did not know this person, he believed he really knew me. Therefore, he attacked me on social media because, I presume, he felt that I was vulnerable and had ignored him. As a result, I thought I would use my artistic platform to clear up any confusions.
My blog is a great outlet for me to express my creativity and my uniqueness in hopes of benefitting myself and others. According to the American Psychological Association, “In Western cultures, more than 90 percent of people marry by age 50. However, about 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce. The divorce rate for subsequent marriages is even higher.” Therefore, I am not alone in re-experiencing what it is like to be single again.
In doing so, does not mean that I have self-esteem issues. Quite the opposite because I am not afraid to face and expose my vulnerabilities to the world. It does not mean that I am a weak person. It means that I am strong. I’m apprehensive, but in a good way because I’m doing new and exciting things. I am discovering what makes me happy and fulfilled at this new stage in my life. I’m not the insecure person I used to be who would have felt obligated to respond to persistence. I am a secure woman who knows the difference between a man and boy because a real man does not insult women. I am not someone who is threatened by someone who calls me fat, ugly or whatever adjectives that gives you a release. When I look in the mirror, the soul of that reflection stirs emotions, chills because of the beauty within. I am not someone who can be bullied.
As I continue to embrace my singlehood and arousing life experiences, please don’t ever confuse it or me with being fragile. I am empowered!