The New Single

It’s empowering to know your worth and the essentials for your pleasure. Over the weekend, I saw the movie “How to be Single” and was pleasantly surprised.  I liked the movie and could relate to the message conveyed – Learning how to be single is a process.  Even though the movie was fictitious, I thought some of the situations and consequences were very well displayed.

After being in relationships for the majority of my life, I was anxious about being single, especially in my middle age. I had heard many stories from my single friends and knew that the statistics were not in my favor.  Not good, considering companionship was all I really knew.  I’ve even heard people say that we are not meant to be alone and that is the reason why God made a companion, Eve, for Adam.   Now, however, circumstances are vastly different.  That being said, I don’t diminish the significance of companionship.  Companionship is wonderful when you are with someone who cares and respects you and vice versa.  It’s even better when you are not looking for that person to complete you.  However, sometimes in relationships, you make so many compromises that your likes and dislikes become blurred.

To be or not to be in a relationship is a choice. No one should feel pressure to live a certain way just to fit in with societal familiarizations.  Some settle, for the sake of companionship, by justifying bad behaviors like cheating, abuse, and disrespect just to not be single.  I have literally gone out with guys that when I expressed my disinterest, insinuated that because of my age, my options are limited and implicitly suggested settling.   Have we been conditioned to believe that being unhappy is better than being single?

Chances are that at some point during our lives, we may be single. That’s why it’s important to learn what your needs are for self-fulfillment.  I am taking advantage of this time and getting to know who I really am as a person, as well as, focusing on my strengths and weaknesses.  The things that I don’t like about myself, I have time to work on.  I get to uncover the real phenomena that lead to feelings of euphoria for me.

Focusing on being single instead of my next relationship has taught me that I don’t have to settle.  I know that being a single woman is not an impediment. Eventually, society will catch up.

I would love to hear your thoughts or comments.