Since becoming single, I’ve discovered that online dating is the new way for single people to meet. As a matter of fact, most of my single friends currently have profiles on online sites or have tried it at least once. My reluctance was the belief that the people online were desperate and had no other options. I have since changed my view. I know several young, beautiful people who view online dating as an efficient way of meeting people that share their interests. I’ve been tempted to try it on a number of occasions, however, I’m still holding out for meeting Mr. Right the good old fashioned way: face to face through happenstance or via friends.
Anyway, last Friday, I agreed to go out on a date with a guy that I had previously met while out with a couple of friends. He seemed nice. He told me that he had noticed me several times and wanted to ask me out but was intimidated by my looks. (What a great line!) Naturally it’s flattering when someone compliments you, particularly since he said it so sincerely in front of my friends. He gave me his cell number and told me to call at any time. I did not give him my number. I also did not call him until I ran into him on another occasion. We talked briefly and afterwards, I told him that I would call him so that we could go out.
I called, we talked, and agreed to meet for dinner. However, during that conversation, he indicated that he had never been married and had not been on a date in at least four years. I was taken aback by his revelation and wanted to get another male’s perspective on that matter. I discussed it with one of my male friends. He told me that I should definitely delve more into that conversation with the guy. I mean, I have been divorced since 2012 but even I, who don’t even go out much, have gone out on dates. The ratio of men to women in the DC metro area is at an all-time disproportion in favor of men. I thought, in four years, he should have had several dates! In retrospect, my reaction was probably a little hypocritical because had he been a woman, I wouldn’t have thought twice about that statement.
In any case, on the day that we agreed to meet, I, unfortunately, was running late and texted him to let him know. He did not see the text and arrived at the restaurant before me. I finally arrived about 30 minutes later. I noticed as I approached the table to greet him that he had ordered appetizers and a drink. I said hello. He remained seated and smiled. I gave him a look like –What!!! You are not going to even pretend to stand up and greet me or attempt to help me with my coat?? Maybe he was upset because I was late, but I texted him. He then says, without budging “I was going to help you with your coat but you already had it.” I said coldly, “well that would have been nice.” Immediately in the back of my mind I thought “strike one” because that was certainly not a good start.
I sat down and initiated conversations because he didn’t (strike two). After ordering my food and a drink, I began to delve more into the conversation of him not dating for four years. He responded nonchalantly – “I’m picky. I don’t want to go out with just anyone.” After he said that, I’m sure I looked at him again like he was crazy because my immediate thought was – Something must really be wrong with you if you could not find one person to go out on one date with you in four years (strike three!). Then, I had to give myself a damn strike for being his first date in four years, but in my defense, he is a very handsome man, when you squint.
I asked him about his hobbies and if he had friends that he hung out with – Hell, if he wasn’t going out with women I assumed me was hanging out with other friends. He said no (strike four). As we conversed, he continuously made these really eerie facial expressions that I found to be off-putting (strike five and six!!!).
After being completely unnerved by his facial expressions and bored, I began plotting my exit without appearing rude. He attempted to prolong the date with insinuations of how he had nothing to do afterwards. In my mind, I had already started running out of the restaurant to my car. Unfortunately, I knew that we had nothing in common. I also knew that I did not want to go out with him again. He walked me to my car, and I breathed a sigh of relief that it was over.
I guess I need to do a better job of conversing before agreeing to meet someone for a date. I will chalk this up as a learning experience. Single People – help me out. Is this the reality of what dating over 50 is like?
Peace & Love